I’ve been thinking about my history with running and therapy a lot lately as I try to process the delay in a complaint I made against a therapist and formulate my goals for running in 2022 - ten years after my season of PRs (marathon 3:36:35, half marathon 1:40:05, ten miler 1:12:36).
Reviewing the therapy notes I went back to see if there were any clues about how my self-esteem and mental health was affected by running. I remember never being satistied with my running accomplishments and feeling like a fraud even as I became more serious about training and identified as a runner and that was demonstrated in the records.
The word “giddy” only showed up once in 1000+ sessions and it was in reference to the 2012 Cherry Blossom Ten Mile Run. It was April Fool’s Day. When I saw a finish time of 1:12:36 I almost thought it was a prank. How did I run 10 miles at a pace of 7:15/mile?!? I remember pushing myself during the race so that I could have a time comparable to a local competitor, but I don’t remember feeling like I was going to die from pushing myself. I don’t recall pain or anything bad, I just remember my perservance and pushing forward with determination in every step.
I knew before I even started running the 2022 Cherry Blossom Ten Mile Run that I’d have my slowest time ever, but I was so grateful to be there with my twin sister. We volunteered the day before at the kids race and had so much fun meeting people and giving back to the sport.
I don’t think i’ve laughed as much as I did when my twin and I started filming me dressed up in my Coney costume the day after the race. We saw a bunch of construction workers and cones near a crosswalk on the Mall and I wanted to get footage of me walking towards the Capitol. As I walked, one of the construction workers stopped me to ask, “Are you a candy corn or a traffic cone?” With pure glee and giddiness I answered, “I’m a traffic cone!” He and his buddies started to laugh and he said, “We’re going to need you to come over here. We’re short one cone.” I started to follow him and at that point the video ended because Malinda was laughing so hard.
My sister and I brought smiles to many people on our trip and that’s the greatest gift. As we walked towards the Smithsonian museums, a woman on a bike turned around to catch up to us and thank us. She recognized the Twins Run bag and thanked us for cheering in the T-Rex costume on the course. She said it was just wanted she needed to push through to the end of the race.
You know who else is giddy? The dude in this photo :)